Most of us suffer from insecurity particularly when we are involved in a ‘love relationship'. It is guaranteed to bring up all our fears and insecurities. The bottom line for us all, is that we are afraid we are not good enough. Therefore we fear rejection and abandonment.

Over coming insecurity and rejection is vital to help us create the love we are seeking in satisfying relationships. Otherwise insecurity will gradually take its toll on a relationship and can develop into all kinds of irrational fears and obsessions e.g. jealousy, possessiveness, obsessions, love addiction, panic attacks, fear of abandonment and rejection.

Insecurity can result form unresolved issues from childhood or rejection from past relationships. As Children, growing up in an unstable, volatile atmosphere, with an absent parent or primary relationship. We would have an insecure base and have little chance to develop self-esteem, or feel loved and accepted for who we are. Deep-seated insecurity means we are constantly looking for love and approval outside ourselves, often from the significant other in our relationships. Constantly feeling insecure and needing reassurance can end up driving the one we love further away, making us feel even more rejected.

We have all had to cope with one kind of rejection or another, from various life experiences. Be it from the football team, friends, Universities, job applications or from a love interest. Rejections are a part of life and can be painful. But we must learn to recover from them and not make them a self-fulfilling prophecy. The mindset, from which we project into the future ‘repetive rejections.’ We can learn from them, to decide what future positive direction or action we should take. Build up our self worth. One rejection does not mean that we are lifelong failures. It means we are willing to take risks in life, be it in love, career or otherwise. Rejection should not stop us from tackling new challenges, abandoning our dreams or prevent us from being open and successful with new opportunities.

Counselling can aid us in breaking down the self-doubt and help us restore healthy self-esteem and acceptance. Helping us to let go of the hurt and pain of feeling rejected and replace it with ways to overcome our fears and insecurities. CBT (cognitive behaviour Therapy) is successful at helping with these issues.

“The demand to be safe in a relationship inevitably breeds sorrow and fear.
This seeking for security is inviting insecurity”

‘On love’ by Krishnamurti.

CBT and other Therapies can assist with the recovery of the above anxieties. Telephone Counselling and Re-Educational Workshops for Women are also available. Please contact me on 01732 453758/07882 369 663 or email enquiries@psychotherapysevenoaks.com