Co-dependency causes people to become entangled in harmful relationships be they romantic partnerships, friendships, jobs or roles within the family, where they feel responsible for others and are consumed by the need to ‘fix’ become ‘caretakers’ of them.

Instead of taking responsibility for their own lives they try to control events and others by various means. This may involve the co-dependent being manipulative, trying to control others by coercion, threats, guilt, domination, anger, blackmail, lecturing or by neediness/helplessness.

They need to be needed/indispensable. Within this dynamic is the need for them to be ‘fixed’ themselves, to be rescued by other co-dependent people trapped in similar dysfunctional roles. Thus, becoming trapped in the cycle of ‘rescuing’ and being ‘rescued’. The pattern is repeated over and over again until the behaviour/ pattern is recognized and released. Allowing people to set new healthy boundaries and meet their own needs instead of being held in bondage in dysfunctional relationships, in denial about their own needs and life’s purpose. Relying on people or trying to control circumstances outside of oneself will continue to hurt and damage those that are in co-dependent relationships.

Co-dependency is a disempowering state, preventing the ‘authentic self ‘from being ‘self aware’. Preventing it from setting goals and making healthy decisions that bring happiness, success and fulfilment.

The road to recovery entails letting go of the fear of being ‘out of control’. To learn to be responsible for your own feelings and emotions without needing to control others as a means of escaping yourself. Self esteem, faith, trust and self- love need to be established within to find lasting contentment.
 

CBT and other Therapies can assist with the recovery of the above anxieties. Please contact me on 01732 453758/07882 369 663 or email enquiries@psychotherapysevenoaks.com for a free half hour introductory consultation.